was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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