Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Randomize
