Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
After we finished having sex, he drunkenly tried to hugh five me, farted, then accused me of stealing his socks.
look when god gives you a dick that good for his son's birthday you don't question it
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
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