she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize