who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
I just spend twenty minutes scrubing the "Happy Birthday" off of my vagina. He's never gonna forget this.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
