id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
You ruined the universe
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize