I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Randomize
