Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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