So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
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