Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
Just drove past a church with a sign near it that said, "God wants to be your daddy."
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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