Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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