if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
2 rounds of irish car bombs have already been taken to your 5 year sober anniversary
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Sometimes the most spiritual fucking thing to do is punch somebody in the face.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
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