I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
We shared that special kind of eye contact that can only be experienced when you know one party is saying "Oh god, I fucked him in the back seat when you were in the front, didn't I."
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
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