He disabled his match.com account in front of me
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
