you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
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Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
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