A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
All I want in this world right now are Doritoessssss
OK. You going to get home safe? Who are you with?
Doritoesssssss
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
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