He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
