I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
I FOUND THE NORMAL CONDOMS. THIS IS GOD TELLING ME TO CHASE AFTER MY DREAM.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize