im drinking this country out of the recession.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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