these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
