would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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