Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
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