My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Randomize
