my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting married
To pizza
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
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