Don't come here someone got drunk and rolled the keg to buger king. no more beeer
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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