uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
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