Apparently you make a good broom.
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize