She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
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