Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I wish life was like the Sims. Right when you're pregnant the music would play and I would just know instead of agonizing for the next two weeks.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
Randomize
