i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
porn star boner night. come get it.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Randomize
