Things he has used as lube on me: olive oil, cologne, purell, spit, tanning oil, and bottled hotel lotion
He needs to save up for some actual ky before my vagina gets an allergic reaction
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
My boobs are feeling quite sensitive so I told them, " you is smart, you is kind, you is important" that should do the trick.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
