Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
