Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
Need sex. Gaining weight.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
and all i could think was, am i really about to have sex with someone who still thinks that pee comes out of the actual vagina?
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize