he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
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