I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
