what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
Great. Me and the intoxalock guy are getting so close he just said "alright see you later girl!" when I called about getting the blower recallibrated.
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
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