I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
