...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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