What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
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I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
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the gays at disneyland are vicious
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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