i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
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