Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
farters have to be the big spoon...
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize