I puked while I was brushing my teeth this morning and had to get a new tbrush
Ew, did you brush them again?
Yeah but i puked on the new one and decided to give up...failure
yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
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Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I've really become a household name at this fraternity. Mother would be so proud.
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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