Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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