I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
That's cool how's he been?
He got hit in the face with a beer bottle so he has two black eyes and 13 stitches.. He hasnt changed much.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah I mean I think I need to stop living off of snacks and alcohol
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
