so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
Threesome in a minivan. New low
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
I just accidentally showed an old lady a pic of my penis while showing her cat pics. So how's your day going?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
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