I'm sorry my penis didn't work
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
