I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
Randomize