somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
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