So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
Randomize
