i just watched my husband get a prostate exam. sex is ruined for me.
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Apparently you can unlock an iPad by doing a line on the lock screen I'm about to bust that myth
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
