so that wasnt chicken after all
His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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