Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
We got so high we made milksteak
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
