Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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