in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
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