You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Now I have to picture Dave Letterman having sex with all these women. Im the real victim.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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