We walk out of his house and his dad is there, so I had to meet him and shake his hand pretending that same hand hadn't been down his son's pants five minutes earlier
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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