She just used a chaser for red wine.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
