I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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